Another Apology

19 Apr

Hey people who read this. :) So basically, I’m an acrobat. I’m on a performance troupe at my university, and this Friday and Saturday are our HUUUGE annual show. So basically, I’m being run into the ground. (Today’s dress rehearsal took nine. Freakin’. Hours.)

SO ANYWAY. I am apologizing for how sporadic I’ve been with updates. I’m spending a lot of time in the gym and not much time with my laptop. I’LL TRY TO DO BETTER. :C 

Day 17 — Irrational

18 Apr

I sit here driving myself to insanity
Fretting over changing what has yet to happen
As past phantoms breathe down my neck
I lay awake to whimper helplessly
For one so close, you feel so far
Though I know pain once dulled alters the absence
I scramble to hold on to what’s already there
Weep over losing what’s never been lost
Reminded of torment once thought long fled
I decry all hold if may have over my heart
Denying that heartbreak’s cruel revenants
Revile me yet more with each step to new love
Their odious words are known false, yet ring true
Memories manipulate any scrap of dismay
Until I can’t breathe, suffocated by irrationality
I refuse to drive away what I hold dear
Though demons plague me with falsehoods
That eclipse the truth displayed to me
I want to believe that after fighting forever
Happiness has shared its blessing with me
But, locked in a chokehold of apprehension
I can’t bring myself to enjoy the treasure
Dangling in my dreams, though there alone
Leave me, memories that twist my mind
Let me to know what I’ve actually found
If gone, let it be gone, though of its own devices
For I will not allow you to use me as a tool
Against what I’ve sought for so long.

Day 16 — Ideas

18 Apr

Your eyes link with mine
And your lips tug into a mischievous smirk
The same that tugs on the strings of my heart
And you speak a simple phrase
“Don’t get any ideas.”
And in that one moment
All that dominates my thoughts
All that I dream to speak
Are ideas
The idea of my hand in yours
As you laugh away any sorrows
That may plague my heart
A breaking dawn spent once again
At your side, safe and warm
One last kiss goodnight
Though neither wants to part
A shoulder to cry on
And arms to hold me
Through pain and worry
And whatever life throws at me
I know not what life may bring
But I have a few ideas.

Day 15 — Insanity

16 Apr

I can’t seem to stop this world from spinning
Now my mind won’t stop racing and slipping and tripping
Soon enough, I’ll trip just a little too far
And I won’t be able to recover for the life of me
No matter how I cling to that which keeps me sane
I can’t keep this up forever, you know
Time will catch up with me and sooner or later
You will be all that keeps me going.

–x–

Also called “That Awkward Moment When Tori is Losing Her Mind Enough That She Actually Writes An Acrostic.”

Day 14 — Mine

16 Apr

It’s the moments when you smile with your eyes
That I realize why the little things are so special to me
The way you take my hand
When you think no one’s looking
The way your eyes crinkle
When I toss you a smile
The way­ you lay your arm across my side
When night falls and sleep takes
The way I sometimes catch you looking
When you think I’m not paying attention
The way you kiss me on the cheek
When dawn breaks and it’s time to wake
The way you hold me and whisper “Mine,”
When no one else can hear
It’s the little things like that
That remind me how glad I am
To have found you
And to call you Mine.

 

–x–

Some moments scream “WRITE A POEM ABOUT ME”, while other moments remind you of all the things you want to say, and sometimes it comes out in poem form.

Day 13 — Maybe

16 Apr

Maybe I’m silly, maybe I’m young
And maybe I don’t know what I’m doing
But maybe I’ve fallen for you
When maybe I shouldn’t have
And maybe each word you speak
Makes me think that maybe
You’ve maybe done the same
And maybe I’m on your mind right now
And maybe you can’t figure out how
To say what’s in your heart, maybe
Whatever it may be.

 

–x–

Maybe, maybe, baby.

Oops…

16 Apr

Hey, sorry I’ve been so bad about posting!! My acrobatics troupe is preparing for our HUGE annual show this weekend, and I’ve been busy as hell. So I’ll just post the poems from the last three days right now. ^^;

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